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The Melancholy of Hoshikawa Subaru
By: Rend DX
Chapter 2/14
Summary: How can one simply survive when you are living the darkest days of your abyss of a life? Angst-ridden Hoshikawa Subaru attempts to live his dark life. -RnR Satire-
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So there I was on my computer. It is pretty much my only escape from the pain that this real world causes me. Life is such a drag. So MySpace is like my favoritest site ever. How can someone not like it?
I log on to see the grayscaled picture of myself with black tears creeping out of my eyes. It is so moving. Sometimes I feel something stir within me and the same tears pictured creep out of my eyes. It is totally rad, because I got this new pair of jeans and they were like black. And hot. They had these skull things on the side that totally discourages mothers with children to walk on the same side of the street as me.
So the next thing I do is I check out all of my comments.
"Subaru, you're gay." Oh look, a hater. I then go onto Kizamaro's MySpace and I type him up something like this: "Well at least I'm not short!" Sometimes I think I hit people below the belt too much.
"Subaru, you're gay." Oh look, another hater. I then go onto Gonta's MySpace and I type something to him that looked like this: "Well at least I'm not overweight and insecure about my size." Ooo, that was below the belt. I better watch it, but I do like being below the belt.
"Subaru, you're gay." Oh look, it's from ‘Kasa. I then go onto Tsukasa's MySpace and I type something to it that looked like this: "Do you want to go to the MCR concert?" I was awaiting his reply. MiCoRa was the top band of ever. I'd listen to her on my iPod for hours, until my mom took it away because the music was apparently affecting my brain in some sort of way.
I had a crush on Misora – main singer of MiCoRa – against everyone's assumptions that I was gay. This world just can't understand how deep I am.
Oh look! A new comment! Who is this? Orihime?! The comment she left was weird and it went as follows:
"Dear Subaru-kun,
I've been stalking you for ages and I totally won like these two free tickets to go to the MiCoRa concert, but I am totally booked. lol Do you want these tickets, cuz I'd totally give them to you.
Your best friend,
Orihime"
OMG! FREE MCR TICKETS GET! So I brushed on some more eye liner and was out the door before you could make fun of my sexuality.
I went to the park, which is where is specified that I'd meet her and I saw an old women waiting on the said bench.
"Move it, witch, I'm meeting someone here," I commanded.
"Oh, it's me, Subaru-kun. I'm Orihime," said the witch.
"WTH!?!?" Sometimes life took me by surprise so much that I had to use acronyms to express my non-emotions. "I thought it said on your MySpace that you were sixteen!"
"I've been exposed to second-hand smoke by my gardener since I was a little kid," she replied smoothly.
"Well that makes sense. Um, so can I, like, I have the tickets, yunno?" I was not going to be intimidated by this witch, ugh, purple eye shadow. She totally needs a light brown to compliment her eyes.
"Oh sure, Subaru-kun, but I have one request. I need you to sell me your soul," she whispered this last part in my ear.
"ROTFL! Sure!" I said. She gave me the tickets (which I slipped into my pocket) and put her hand on my chest. An eerie green light emanated from it. The lines on her forehead grew thicker and she was seemingly perplexed. She then stopped breathing heavily.
"Why?! Why won't it work on one measly boy?" she said in fury.
"Why? I have no soul! ROTFLOLMAO!"
"NOOOOO~OO!" she screamed.
I walked away then, Diary, and I went back to my house, because I needed to post new pictures of myself holding these tickets. You know, Diary, I really think that War-Rock needs a MySpace, too.
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