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The Melancholy of Hoshikawa Subaru
By: Rend DX
Chapter 3/14
Summary: How can one simply survive when you are living the darkest days of your abyss of a life? Angst-ridden Hoshikawa Subaru attempts to live his dark life. -RnR Satire-

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"Dude! You got tickets to the MCR tickets! That's so hot," said Kasa, who was the closest thing that Subaru had to a friend.

"I know! It is totally punk rock," replied Subaru, who could hardly wait the hour before his bus would come.

"Thanks so much for inviting me!" said Tsukasa, giving Subaru a hug which managed to get him a few stares from the people hanging around them. It isn't every day you see a pair of high school boy hugging, or not at least in real life.

"Will you let go of me?!" Subaru was clearly upset. "Misora-sama won't want to hang around with me if she sees us hugging!"

"Sorry," whined Tsukasa like a hurt puppy.

"'s OK. What's your favorite song of hers anyways?" Subaru changed the topic.

"Probably 'Cut my Heart into Equal Proportions for all of Those who Broke it,'" he replied with the abnormally long title.

Subaru replied, "'Cut my Heart into Equal Proportions for all of Those who Broke it' is a good song, but my favorite is definitely 'I'm Sorry for All of my Faults, but you Suck Anyways and I did Break your Bike Back in Fourth Grade and you Deserved it, you Freak of Nature.'"

"I can understand how you like it. I personally can totally relate to it. Does she just randomly capitalize some of those words, or is it just me?" questioned Kasa.

"DO NOT QUESTION THE MISORA-SAMA!" yelled Subaru, which gained him the usual crowd of stares.

"Sorry once again. Hey! Why don't we jump though this plot hole and go to the concert right now?!" shouted Tsukasa.

"Sounds great!"

-Some time later at Misora's concert-

"WOOOOO!" the crowd shouted. They were all getting really excited for this event. The crowd's cheer crescendoed as Misora walked on stage.

Misora was a normal teenager, per say. Her hair was dyed black with natural pink highlights strewn throughout. Her eye liner was on so heavy that you could clearly make out each stroke of the pencil. Her eye shadow was a deep blue, or there was enough of it that it made it look deep. Either way, it totally went with the blue skull on her black shirt and with her blue-skulled punk belt. Her pants were black with holes.

The lights dimmed and the spotlight fell on her. It was a purple light and it had a mysterious glow to it. The drums started out in the background.

(NOTE: Misora's song isn't ripped off of anything, nor does it have a rhythm or rhyme as most songs don't have nowadays.)

My soul cries
'Cause I'm so deep
The pain I feel
It starts to seep
Into my tears
Falling down
My pink cheek
Oh the pain
Oh the pain
If you wouldn't have
been such an
idiot. You jerk
You suck
You suck
You jerk
You suck
You suck
You jerk
You ruined me
So I'll ruin you
The pain
The pain
You suck
You jerk
You suck

"Wow," said Tsukasa. "That touched my soul." Everyone could hear him, because no one cheered; no one yelled. They all just chewed on the words that were given to them.

Some of the crowd started to cry. Some of them were clutching their hearts. Some of the crowd were asleep, but you can't beat haters.

"Thank you all for coming," said Misora glumly. "I'm now going to throw out two backstage passes which may or may not be already planned who will receive them. Here, catch these Fubuta Tsukasa and Hoshikawa Subaru." She tossed the two passes to the boys. That was definitely not predictable.

"Sweet goodness! As if we couldn't have predicted that! If not, the chapter would have ended a paragraph previously!" said Subaru, clearly not surprised.

Subaru and 'Kasa walked backstage where they met up with Misora. No one really noticed that she just sang one song, because it filled them with so many emotions that they simply couldn't handle another song.

"Hey guys. Welcome to my pad," she sighed.

The room was very plain. What it looks like we could really care less about, because all that the two boys were focusing in on was Misora.

"You're pretty hot," Misora said while pulling her arms around Tsukasa's shoulder and the maneuvering her body so both arms were around him.

"Um... gee, thanks," stammered Kasa.

Before Subaru could even realize what was happening, they were making out. It was pretty gross to see it in real life. Subaru was very upset. He particularly brought Tsukasa along, because he thought that he was gay and therefore wouldn't hit on Misora! REPULSION!

"Hey! You guys break that up!" Subaru yelled to his ex-future girlfriend and his ex-best friend. They didn't seem to hear him. "STOP THAT!" he shouted again and pulled them apart.

"Dude, what's the big deal?" said Misora dreamily.

"Yeah, man, what's the big deal?" Tsukasa repeated.

"MISORA! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME!" Subaru was screaming. Nothing abnormal there.

"YOU SUCK! YOU JERK! YOU SUCK! I CAN LOVE WHOMEVER I LIKE!" she screamed back. Both of them were excellent at screaming and wailing from their everyday life.

"KISS ME, MISORA!" Subaru yelled.

"NO! PERVERT! HELP! HELP! I'M BEING SEXUALLY HARASSED! HELP!" the siren of her voice went off.

It seemed to help, because a whole crowd of her loyal fans came that all wanted her heart. Subaru was a dead man.



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